Hello there,

First of all, Im one week late but it does not matter so here's wishing you HAPPY NEW YEAR. School has been fine for the first week. Now into the second week of school and it cannot get any busier or crazy. Well the past two days has been rather crazy.

Things canno get crazier at school. It's like, when you wish you could someone in school, and you don't get to see him. But when you are too embarassed and don't want to see him, that is when he appears. How sick or how crazy is that......it just makes my heart stop for a moment. The reason that i am avoiding to see him is also to help myself forget him.

Today at school, i did not realise, only after awhile, that he was standing a few meters in front of me in the same que. I just could not bare to look at him or even into his eye's. Once again being in the same huge canteen, while queing for drinks, i turned my back only to find us looking at each other. Not sure what we was going through my head or his, it probably meant nothing to him. I just did not know how to react to that. Dumb as it can be or sound. I wished it meant something good. I believe i am just some irritating and ugly bitch to him that was trying to get his attention, who added him on fb without having any mutual friends. She must be some damm stalker.... Well the damage is already done and i am totally embarassed. Another part that i forgot to add, in the midst of the huge canteen, we were all sitted in the same side of the canteen. Let's just say not many tables apart. And once again, it took me a very long time to realise that part, until i turned back after a few times only to realise that. My back was facing him. My heart just simply sanked into the ground. Helpless am i:(

Even before the year 2010 could come to a end, i was already thinking about Valentines day. Not a day goes by without thinking if i will ever have a shot to experience Valentines day, and not some random day spent at home. At this rate, it does seem like it is going to happen, i do hope it comes through with the right person. I'm numb right now:( I dont wish to be the girl by the window admiring sweet and romantic couples having the time of their life. I wana be part of the memorable scene with my love :)