Okay we are comming down to our 90th post, but that is simply not the purpose of my blogging. The purpose of my blogging is to share what i feel. Im not really sure if i am sharing this with anyone cause i think not many people are aware that i am blogging. Most of them do have tumblrs which seems like the "in thing" at the moment. Actually i do have a account, but i ditched i after one day. I know right, how stupid, but i ought to do what i feel happy doing.

Today was a day full of emotion. A mixed of everything i would say. I about to burst into tears or maybe (less dramatically) about to sob in the canteen, while celebrating E's birthday. I was totally filled with envy at how she and her boyfriend were like the sweetest thinng ever. I guessed on her part, it must be the greatest feeling to have that special someone with you on your birthday and telling you the most sweetest words. I have never experienced that right down to the simplest thing which is a date with a decent guy.

As much as i have been telling people to keep hanging on and keep faith, i am facing the difficulty of doing that. All i really wanna do is cry my heart out in the heavy rain. Send someone to comfort me with his true and sincere and soothing words. Someone who loves me very much as much i love him. It hurts inside and it feels nobody ever understand what i am feeling or going through.

Life was not getting any better as the day progressed. Pure coincidense of seeing him in the library. It is not that i do not want to see him, it is just that i am embarassed to see him. Deep in my heart i really do wana see him. I wish he knew how i was feeling and see it through my eyes. My feels really broken each time i see him. And i bump into him at the most unexoected timing. That just leaves my heart beating soooo fast. I wish he feels the same way. I kind of get this feeling that his friends know a thing or two. There were these bloody big bunch of them walking past our table smilling to themselves as if they knew what was going on. Has he already embarassed me. Do they have a bad impression of me... Alll of these i wonder?

Give me the strenght that i need to be happy in life. I wana laugh my heart out and be innocently happy like a small kid. Making it the bestest day of my life that i am going to remember for life. A day free from all problems and sucky emotions. A day fill to fun, laughter, joy and peace.

Broken hearted girl